last "job" post...
he walks! he talks!
- and he drives a car! (That's what the barkers would bark about the sideshow freaks at the Alabama State Fair when I was a kid.)
He's not a freak, but he is at the Big E, which is a multi-state fair in New England. See the infamous Mr. Dobbs eat cheese curd! Hear him speak! Watch his thumb go up! This surely is what the internet was made for!
He's not a freak, but he is at the Big E, which is a multi-state fair in New England. See the infamous Mr. Dobbs eat cheese curd! Hear him speak! Watch his thumb go up! This surely is what the internet was made for!
danger!
My new scissors contain chemicals known to the state of California to be dangerous! In several ways!
How can this be known to California exclusively? If it is known, it is a fact, and if it is a fact in California, it is a fact everywhere.
I bet the Minnetonka Cutlery Company really wanted to put quote marks around "known". As in "known" to a bunch of litigious namby-pambies in KooKooLand who can sue us if we don't put this on our scissors.
Those darn facts! They are so elusive and malleable! Factiness! You know what I'm thinking. But I'll let that sleeping dog lie. Or is it let that lying dog sleep?
...
Click this link to go over to Paul Fricke's blog and read about my singing career! Just scroll down below the stuff about Jerry Reed.
...
HOLY COW! I'm about to go add a comment to the Illville post and break 30! That's more comments than the Karl Rove post!
...
not much
I doodled this guy down in the corner of something more impressive.
And here's a visual aid I created after trying to tell two co-workers who it was that was arguing loudly with another co-worker about what's what and what's not in the big bad financial meltdown. I don't know the guy's name but he looks kinda like what the Body Snatchers might make out of Chip and Ernie Douglas.
Now I'll go comment on that Illville comic.
...
puzzling
Two more parts of the puzzle that is keeping me from drawing Everything pinups. (I actually just put this here so you'll have something fun to see if you hate politics. The post below is pretty depressing).
COVER YOUR EYES!!!
Skip this post if you hate politics!
This is why I asked for proof of the Rove connection to the whisper campaign about John McCain's "illegitimate black child".
I read this statement over at Bissette's: "Rove’s appalling “Would you be more or less likely to vote for John McCain…if you knew he had fathered an illegitimate black child?” slurs cost McCain that year’s candidacy." I've heard this before, but never really read the whole story, so I clicked the link. An article at "The Nation" says "Rove invented a uniquely injurious fiction for his operatives to circulate via a phony poll." That doesn't prove anything, so I go googling for the background, the proof behind this accusation.
I can't find it. I ask the intelligentsia at MyRant and the klassless klowns at jabberous to help me out. Nobody can. So far. It has been a week.
Hear me now and believe me later! I was genuinely curious. I really had no idea if proof would show up. I still think it could. I don't think it will because I don't think Rove was behind the "black child" crap, but I think it is at least possible.
But so far all I got was "Good luck! They cover their tracks!" and "Rove must be ousted! Period!"
I just find it ironic that unproven gossip is used to attack someone for spreading vicious rumors. It's no big important scandal. Contrary to what the small dust-up in the comments section here at jabberous may lead one to believe, it is not The Most Important Issue Facing Me Today.
I do find it very troubling that so much erroneous information gets passed around as "fact". It's subtle. There's not a big announcement that THE FOLLOWING IS A FACT. Things are just stated as if they are facts and become part of the public "knowledge". Some of these "facts" can be proved. Some cannot be proved. Some can be proven to be wrong, and not a fact at all.
Some are harmless. I think the Rove "fact" is relatively harmless, but not entirely harmless. I think the proveable fact that a whisper campaign about a black child occurred proves that there are still ignorant redneck racists among us. And I think it is a good thing to know that, to face reality and fight that sort of thing. But to attach Rove and Bush and an entire political party to it sends a signal that the problem of racism is much larger than it actually is.
Some anonymous goober fanning the flames of racism is bad. But I am more upset by a presidential candidate twisting Rush Limbaugh's words around and telling Hispanics that he and his army of brainwashed ditto-heads hate them. Or telling audiences in general that "they" are going to try to scare you and say I don't look like the other presidents on dollar bills.
The Rovian "fact" thing is small potatoes. It's nothing compared to the "fact" that Bush stole the election, drilling won't solve anything, Republicans caused the financial crisis, on and on and on.
As for all of the other issues that popped up during the last week and have strings attached to this...
This is not a political blog. I'm just addressing the Rove thing here so anybody who is interested can see what my point is, why I asked for that proof. And so I can include links (I'm not sure how to make a link in the comments section at MyRant.) And so you can actually READ it - those tiny little letters in MyRant's comment section hurt my eyes!
Speaking of MyRant: It's no secret that I think Bissette is a loon, and it's no secret that he thinks I'm a loon, so don't go thinking I am attacking him. Bissette and I go way back and we'll most likely go way forward. Unless McCain wins and we all sink into the muddy sewer of Roveness. Or unless Obama wins and Sharia Law prevents Bissette from talking to me because I am a married man and he is a burka'ed girl! So VOTE FOR RON PAUL!
Some of my best friends are loons!
Another great old loony friend Dobbs wonders if I can explain my politics. Why yes, as a matter of fact, I can. But it would take a very VERY long time to explain it to someone who thinks a conservative voting record is an outrage, but "What's wrong with a liberal voting record?" Or to someone else who thinks FOX should be investigated and shut down, but turns to The Nation Magazine for news.
Hopefully this helped shine a tiny bit of light on what the hell I can possibly be thinking.
But I doubt it.
PLEASE NOTE: This is not intended to be a complete and thorough analysis of every important issue facing mankind today, so please don't jump all over me with "How can you fret over so-and-so when so-and-so is so much more important???"
...
This is why I asked for proof of the Rove connection to the whisper campaign about John McCain's "illegitimate black child".
I read this statement over at Bissette's: "Rove’s appalling “Would you be more or less likely to vote for John McCain…if you knew he had fathered an illegitimate black child?” slurs cost McCain that year’s candidacy." I've heard this before, but never really read the whole story, so I clicked the link. An article at "The Nation" says "Rove invented a uniquely injurious fiction for his operatives to circulate via a phony poll." That doesn't prove anything, so I go googling for the background, the proof behind this accusation.
I can't find it. I ask the intelligentsia at MyRant and the klassless klowns at jabberous to help me out. Nobody can. So far. It has been a week.
Hear me now and believe me later! I was genuinely curious. I really had no idea if proof would show up. I still think it could. I don't think it will because I don't think Rove was behind the "black child" crap, but I think it is at least possible.
But so far all I got was "Good luck! They cover their tracks!" and "Rove must be ousted! Period!"
I just find it ironic that unproven gossip is used to attack someone for spreading vicious rumors. It's no big important scandal. Contrary to what the small dust-up in the comments section here at jabberous may lead one to believe, it is not The Most Important Issue Facing Me Today.
I do find it very troubling that so much erroneous information gets passed around as "fact". It's subtle. There's not a big announcement that THE FOLLOWING IS A FACT. Things are just stated as if they are facts and become part of the public "knowledge". Some of these "facts" can be proved. Some cannot be proved. Some can be proven to be wrong, and not a fact at all.
Some are harmless. I think the Rove "fact" is relatively harmless, but not entirely harmless. I think the proveable fact that a whisper campaign about a black child occurred proves that there are still ignorant redneck racists among us. And I think it is a good thing to know that, to face reality and fight that sort of thing. But to attach Rove and Bush and an entire political party to it sends a signal that the problem of racism is much larger than it actually is.
Some anonymous goober fanning the flames of racism is bad. But I am more upset by a presidential candidate twisting Rush Limbaugh's words around and telling Hispanics that he and his army of brainwashed ditto-heads hate them. Or telling audiences in general that "they" are going to try to scare you and say I don't look like the other presidents on dollar bills.
The Rovian "fact" thing is small potatoes. It's nothing compared to the "fact" that Bush stole the election, drilling won't solve anything, Republicans caused the financial crisis, on and on and on.
As for all of the other issues that popped up during the last week and have strings attached to this...
This is not a political blog. I'm just addressing the Rove thing here so anybody who is interested can see what my point is, why I asked for that proof. And so I can include links (I'm not sure how to make a link in the comments section at MyRant.) And so you can actually READ it - those tiny little letters in MyRant's comment section hurt my eyes!
Speaking of MyRant: It's no secret that I think Bissette is a loon, and it's no secret that he thinks I'm a loon, so don't go thinking I am attacking him. Bissette and I go way back and we'll most likely go way forward. Unless McCain wins and we all sink into the muddy sewer of Roveness. Or unless Obama wins and Sharia Law prevents Bissette from talking to me because I am a married man and he is a burka'ed girl! So VOTE FOR RON PAUL!
Some of my best friends are loons!
Another great old loony friend Dobbs wonders if I can explain my politics. Why yes, as a matter of fact, I can. But it would take a very VERY long time to explain it to someone who thinks a conservative voting record is an outrage, but "What's wrong with a liberal voting record?" Or to someone else who thinks FOX should be investigated and shut down, but turns to The Nation Magazine for news.
Hopefully this helped shine a tiny bit of light on what the hell I can possibly be thinking.
But I doubt it.
PLEASE NOTE: This is not intended to be a complete and thorough analysis of every important issue facing mankind today, so please don't jump all over me with "How can you fret over so-and-so when so-and-so is so much more important???"
...
i found it!
A couple of times in the past couple of years, the subject of censorship, or political correctness vs some "ism" has arisen, and I have mentioned this comic. Whenever I mention this comic, I always say I'm going to dig it out some day and post it. This is the one, Jed.
That's probably one of the more cryptic explanations I've ever written in this blog that has a reputation for being incomprehensible. I'll explain more in the comments if called for, but right now I'd just like to sit back and see what kind of reaction this thing gets (if any).
DONE!
88. SE7EN
89. American History X
90. Reservoir Dogs
91. Elephant Man
92. The Usual Suspects
93. A Christmas Story
94. Idiocracy
95. Fight Club
96. Freaks
97. Green Pastures
98. Lifeboat
99. The Gods Must Be Crazy
100. Team America
101. Ghostbusters
102. Spongebob Squarepants Movie
103. The Incredibles
104. 40 Year Old Virgin
105. The Long Riders
I could go on and on!
The folks at Sordid D'Zine inform me that issue one is now complete and you can get the complete whole thing here.
Tomorrow: ART!
89. American History X
90. Reservoir Dogs
91. Elephant Man
92. The Usual Suspects
93. A Christmas Story
94. Idiocracy
95. Fight Club
96. Freaks
97. Green Pastures
98. Lifeboat
99. The Gods Must Be Crazy
100. Team America
101. Ghostbusters
102. Spongebob Squarepants Movie
103. The Incredibles
104. 40 Year Old Virgin
105. The Long Riders
I could go on and on!
The folks at Sordid D'Zine inform me that issue one is now complete and you can get the complete whole thing here.
Tomorrow: ART!
HAR!
What's the difference in a pit bull and a soccer mom?
Pit bulls don't ban library books and protect our nation's most precious resource from sex education!
©2008 Mark Martin (Stephen Colbert, call my lawyer. I'll make you such a deal!)
Pit bulls don't ban library books and protect our nation's most precious resource from sex education!
©2008 Mark Martin (Stephen Colbert, call my lawyer. I'll make you such a deal!)
everything 36
LINK
MOVIES cont'd
80. Throw Momma From the Train (thanks for reminding me, Molly!)
81. The Miracle Worker (original version)
82. Shawn of the Dead
83. Cast Away
84. Steel Magnolias
85. Men In Black
86. Big Trouble in Little China
87. Deliverance
cont'd and stuff
First, here's another piece from the project that is preventing me from drawing Everything Pinups. But it won't be an Everything Fill-in, so it's like a secret extra jabberees-only Everything! Aren't we naughty!
This is the Open Market in Lllanidloes Wales. It is rarely used as a real functioning Open Market now that they have department stores and McDonald's over there just like the rest of us. But it's still there and it's still a neat thing to have in the center of town.
..
eaGle eYe eeTeeD contacted me to point out that the Birdseye ad was drawn by Dik Browne, artist of Hi and Lois and Hagar the Horrible and creator of the Birdseye Bird and the Chiquita Banana. He's dead now, so we can't ask him about that "but good" typo.
..
So far, nobody can prove the Karl Rove thing. I'm waiting until Friday, and then I will update in Mr. Bissette's comments section. So come on, people! Everybody says Rove did it! Can't somebody out there prove it?
..
MORE MOVIES and a bit of explanation -
I have the bad habit of expressing my opinion about most movies (or songs, or TV shows, or books...) and my opinion is that they suck most of the time. Because they do! Over the years this has inspired Busy Timmy to dub me Hatey Smurf, caused multiple people to suggest that I write a syndicated column titled "It Sux! by Mark Martin" (Hi Dobbs! Hi Jim R! Hi Kathi!) and induced dangerously severe eye-rolling among my long-suffering friends and associates.
Recently one of these dear friends (Hi Molly!) suggested it would be easier if I just made a list of movies that DON'T suck. Which is really not an original thought, many have suggested the same thing. And I always protest that there are TONS of great movies worth watching, and I always say "I could easily name a hundred!"
So I am finally doing it. That is what this list is. It's just proof that there are indeed at least 100 movies that I have enjoyed very much. I can't argue about the greatness of Marx Brothers movies (because they suck) or the lameness of Citizen Kane (because it's great!). I just know what I like. I like TONS of cool stuff. I really do! Don't even get me started on music. There are a million jillion great songs out there under the radar.
48. CANNERY ROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another tip o' the hat to eeTeeD! Who sent me a copy of this out-of-print movie after I whined for one here on jabberous a couple of years ago! You people are the greatest! Now somebody send me that Karl Rove proof!
49. In Bruges
50. Evil Dead 2
51. The Lathe of Heaven (1980 version)
52. Coal Miner's Daughter
53. Election
54. Whatever Happened to Baby Jane
55. Return to Oz
56. Rain Man
57. Looking For Mr Goodbar
58. Austin Powers (first one ONLY!)
59. The 6th Sense
60. Coneheads
61. Magnolia
62. Pinocchio (Disney)
63. Time Bandits
64. Slaughterhouse Five
65. CRASH
66. Million Dollar Baby
67. Knocked Up
68. Talladega Nights (so sue me!)
69. Dumb and Dumber (sue me again!)
70. In Her Shoes (bring it on!)
71. Casino
72. King of Comedy
73. Sleeper
74. Network
75. Spartacus
76. Millers Crossing
77. Disco Avenging Godfather (re-released as Disco godfather, but it will always be Disco AVENGING Godfather to me, you rat-soup muthafukka!)
78. Dog Day Afternoon
79. Serpico
..
more movies
(started in yesterday's post, at the bottom...)
25. Fargo
26. Citizen Kane
27. The Corn Is Green
28. Wait Until Dark
29. Midnight Cowboy
30. Taxi Driver
31. What's Eating Gilbert Grape
32. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
33. Misery
34. Cujo
35. Terminator (1)
36. Terminator (2)
37. Predator
38. Pulp Fiction
39. Frankenstein (1931 version)
40. Bride of Frankenstein
41. Young Frankenstein
42. Delicatessan
43. Catch Me If You Can
44. The Odd Couple
45. Animal House
46. Big
47. Beetlejuice
back to work...
25. Fargo
26. Citizen Kane
27. The Corn Is Green
28. Wait Until Dark
29. Midnight Cowboy
30. Taxi Driver
31. What's Eating Gilbert Grape
32. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
33. Misery
34. Cujo
35. Terminator (1)
36. Terminator (2)
37. Predator
38. Pulp Fiction
39. Frankenstein (1931 version)
40. Bride of Frankenstein
41. Young Frankenstein
42. Delicatessan
43. Catch Me If You Can
44. The Odd Couple
45. Animal House
46. Big
47. Beetlejuice
back to work...
let us talk of many things
Let us start with how that book title has always sounded icky to me.
I like this one much better!
Next, let us talk of Karl Rove. SKIP THIS RED TEXT if you hate politics and journalism.
I want to read the definitive proof that Rove initiated and approved the infamous 2000 election year smear campaign about John McCain's illegitimate black child. I don't want articles that say he did, I know there are hundreds. I want the one that proves it.
I don't want to argue about what a slimeball Rove is. That's not the issue. It's a journalism issue that I am interested in. I would just like to see the proof behind this one "fact", that Rove was behind this particular smear. I concede that it could be true, and that it could be proved. But all I can find is articles that reference other articles where it was concluded that bla bla bla.
Anybody got the smoking gun? A fact-filled article or report that proves it to you?
Since I sneeringly posted two bizarre ads from the October 31 1949 LIFE Magazine, I'd now like to give it a pat on the back for this ad art that is just plain handsome. It is VERY HARD to do that kind of cross-hatching and make it look good. A cold snowy night that actually looks cold and snowy - damn near impossible! It's really a dying art. Who does it now? Berni Wrightson's Frankenstein is what immediately comes to mind.
I just love this ad...
The following is purely selfish.
I am going to use the "tags" here to hel;p me accomplish a personal goal. I need to create a list of 100 great movies, to prove to someone there are actually 100 movies that I think are great. There are actually many many movies that I think are great, but I can't just rattle off a hundred. My mind does not work that way.
I started a list, but I keep misplacing it. So I am going to use the "tags" feature in blogger to gather all my movies once I get them all thought up and typed in here.
This is a list of great movies that tell a story. So documentaries like Vernon, Florida, which is totally great, do not count. Monty Python's Meaning of Life won't make the list, but Holy Grail will. Milestones like The Great Train Robbery may be historically important, but they do not cut the mustard. I'm talking about movies that tell one long story, and are practically perfect.
These are not in order of greatness. They are just listed as they occur to me.
1. To Kill a Mockingbird
2. Alien (1)
3. Aliens (2)
4. John Carpenter's "The Thing"
5. Term of Endearment
6. Saving Private Ryan
7. Runaway Train
8. Pee Wee's Big Adventure
9. Blade Runner
10. The Aviator
11. Boogie Nights
12. Iron Giant
13. Slingblade
14. Monsters Inc
15. Holy Grail
16. Peggy Sue Got Married
17. Planes Trains and Automobiles
18. Oh Brother Where Art Thou
19. Hudsucker Proxy
20. Nothing to Lose
21. The Jerk
22. Hoosiers
23. Little Miss Sunshine
24. Dirty Harry
All for now, back to work...
I like this one much better!
Next, let us talk of Karl Rove. SKIP THIS RED TEXT if you hate politics and journalism.
I want to read the definitive proof that Rove initiated and approved the infamous 2000 election year smear campaign about John McCain's illegitimate black child. I don't want articles that say he did, I know there are hundreds. I want the one that proves it.
I don't want to argue about what a slimeball Rove is. That's not the issue. It's a journalism issue that I am interested in. I would just like to see the proof behind this one "fact", that Rove was behind this particular smear. I concede that it could be true, and that it could be proved. But all I can find is articles that reference other articles where it was concluded that bla bla bla.
Anybody got the smoking gun? A fact-filled article or report that proves it to you?
Since I sneeringly posted two bizarre ads from the October 31 1949 LIFE Magazine, I'd now like to give it a pat on the back for this ad art that is just plain handsome. It is VERY HARD to do that kind of cross-hatching and make it look good. A cold snowy night that actually looks cold and snowy - damn near impossible! It's really a dying art. Who does it now? Berni Wrightson's Frankenstein is what immediately comes to mind.
I just love this ad...
The following is purely selfish.
I am going to use the "tags" here to hel;p me accomplish a personal goal. I need to create a list of 100 great movies, to prove to someone there are actually 100 movies that I think are great. There are actually many many movies that I think are great, but I can't just rattle off a hundred. My mind does not work that way.
I started a list, but I keep misplacing it. So I am going to use the "tags" feature in blogger to gather all my movies once I get them all thought up and typed in here.
This is a list of great movies that tell a story. So documentaries like Vernon, Florida, which is totally great, do not count. Monty Python's Meaning of Life won't make the list, but Holy Grail will. Milestones like The Great Train Robbery may be historically important, but they do not cut the mustard. I'm talking about movies that tell one long story, and are practically perfect.
These are not in order of greatness. They are just listed as they occur to me.
1. To Kill a Mockingbird
2. Alien (1)
3. Aliens (2)
4. John Carpenter's "The Thing"
5. Term of Endearment
6. Saving Private Ryan
7. Runaway Train
8. Pee Wee's Big Adventure
9. Blade Runner
10. The Aviator
11. Boogie Nights
12. Iron Giant
13. Slingblade
14. Monsters Inc
15. Holy Grail
16. Peggy Sue Got Married
17. Planes Trains and Automobiles
18. Oh Brother Where Art Thou
19. Hudsucker Proxy
20. Nothing to Lose
21. The Jerk
22. Hoosiers
23. Little Miss Sunshine
24. Dirty Harry
All for now, back to work...
scary grandpa
not one of Rockwell's finer offerings
(LIFE Magazine, October 31, 1949. Personally I don't think this is supposed to be a Halloween-themed ad. Just coincidentally spooky.)
.
"USA! USA!"
This is from the box of ancient wonders. I love the textures, the paint globs, the gummy stars, all of it. Today seems like an appropriate day to post it, echoing all of the Homer Simpsons at the Republican convention last night. Normally I can't stand to watch any kind of awards show or political convention, anything involving pomp and ceremony. But I was curious to see how Mrs. Palin would perform, what she would say, the whole circus. There were lots of "USA! USA!" chants - which is fine and dandy, but I can't hear that now without imagining a crowd of Homer Simpsons.
I also saw a little bit of Hucklebee's speech and I have to say that school desk parable he spun was one of the effed-uppest stories I have ever heard. In case you missed it (and odds are you did) it goes like this:
A teacher has all of the desks removed from her classroom. As each class comes in the kids are told they can have their desks if they can tell her what they have to do to earn them. As the day wears on, befuddled kids try their luck with answers like "by studying hard?" and "by paying attention". Her answer is always "No, you should do that anyway - but how do you earn your desks?"
Finally at the end of the day she says "Well, no one guessed, so I will tell you: You don't have to earn your desks, because brave men and women went to war and earned them for you! These desks are already paid for, by the blood and sacrifice of the American Soldier!"
What a mess! If you're going to honor the country's veteran's, don't screw it up with a mixed-up tall tale like that!
Cue hemlockman. He'll probably jump in here now with some venom about the republiKKKans, so stand back.
triangle man,
triangle man
I have always found it implausible that people can't recognize jabberee Colin when he puts on the triangle. It's like Clark Kent's glasses, only backwards - DUH! "Triangle Man?!? Where did Colin go???"
...
I have always found it implausible that people can't recognize jabberee Colin when he puts on the triangle. It's like Clark Kent's glasses, only backwards - DUH! "Triangle Man?!? Where did Colin go???"
...
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