for mother / the least qualified sports illustrator


Back in the 90s the publishers of Wizard Magazine also published a sports cards magazine. I guess it eventually died since it does not show up on their site. But when it was alive they used to pay me, probably the least qualified sports illustrator on the planet, to draw comics and illustrate articles. This was for an article about obsessive fantasy league geeks.

This thing popped up in one of my many recent ramblings through ancient files. There's a whole folder full of these things somewhere. I have no idea how this one strayed from the pack. I'm sure there was a very important reason for putting it where it was at the time.

(I know I promised not to comment on the Evil Kids, but geez - This one is EXTRA creepy!)



Bill Anderson said...

A whole new vein of unmined Martin gold? Find that folder, man!

Jed said...

I once heard this nervous interview with the editor of Wizard. He was supposed to extoll the virtues of comics and why they made such lucrative movie adaptations, and the best he was able to come up with was that comics were serialized, and serialized over many years, so a lot can happen in them. But ignoring other mediums in which serialization is key, such as TV and the early pulps, aside from Love and Rockets and a few other exceptions, this is of course, only the case with Superhero comics, and to the editors of Wizard, no other comics exist.

There is a notorious case where a Wizard reviewer wrote a review of Ghost World the book, but focused mainly on plot points from the movie that were not in the book, and it was obviously apparent that he had not read the book, which is about how much energy these guys put into anything that isn't a Wolverine t-shirt.

Wizard is also largely responsible for amping up the speculator's market by putting out monthly price guides so that the appreciation of your comics can be charted from month to month. In some cases this would mean that recently purchased comics would be overvalued for short bursts of time, sometimes dropping out of sight altogether a few months later.

The speculator's market is something that comic shops depend on, but it will also ultimately put them out of business because the number of people that buy comics is shrinking, leaving only the most rabid fans.

The moral is that Wizard is an an evil Wizard. Not that I have anything against you squeezing their sister magazine for work, but as you probably know, there is a reason why Runaway Comic didn't sell, and Wizard is a big symptom of that reason.

And that kid looks like he's about to eat that portrait of his mother.

Um, could you send me your address again? This time I will actually put it in an address book. I am sending you a Christmas card.

HemlockMan said...

The guy who drew those illustrations (the old children's book, not you), was definitely weird. On a par with Frank Miller, I think.

Have you seen the trailer for Frank Miller's THE SPIRIT? "The City. She's my mother. She's my lover."


Mark Martin said...

It's all true! Wizard sux and I took their dirty money! And The Spirit is going to suck!

I don't know where all those lame sports toons are right now, but I have a buncha old "car" toons I will post soon. Another subject I know nothing about! Sports and cars...

BonzoGal said...

CAR TOONS!!!! Yaaaaaaay!