me too! me too!

My 2 amigos Mike and Steve write a lot of reviews on their blogs, so I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring.

McDONALD'S COFFEE

OK, what is the deal with this crap? First of all, how stupid is it to have a commercial campaign that declares "McDonald's finally has great coffee!"? They are just shouting from the rooftops "You've been buying shit up until now!"

Second of all, if you are going to say something that incredibly stupid, why make your coffee taste WORSE? I just had my first cup of McDonald's new coffee, and it was horrible. Bitter, strong, burnt tasting. It was drinkable, but just barely. I liked the old coffee just fine. This new stuff is crap! I used a few sips to wash down my sausage biscuit (which was great, I'll give McDonald's credit for that) and I threw the rest of that awful coffee in the trash.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

I "read" the short story. That is, I listened to it (book-on-tape). Believe it or not, my Sunday School teacher dad gave me this book containing a story about butt-f***ing cowboys. He gave it to me saying something along the lines of "Here's a book somebody gave me, but all it is is a bunch of cussing. I think the author just likes to cuss. You might like it, but I couldn't concentrate on the stories because it just seems like she can't stick to the story because she just keeps amazing herself that she can cuss."

OK, so the Brokeback story: Cussing per se does not distract me in general. What distracted me was that this story was just tedious and kinda lame. If I had been actually READING it, I would not have finished it. But since listening while driving is passive, I listened to the whole book. I was not impressed. I'll probably rent the video out of curiosity, to see if this movie is actually as great as the critics are saying.

THE "NEW BREED" OF COMICS

I have not read much comics the last few years. But I recently got a big pile of the last couple of years' output and have been reading them. And - uh -

I think I'll save this review. I may turn it into a comic strip.

THE SIMPSONS

Lest you think I hate EVERYTHING, let me say that the last two episodes of The Simpsons were AWESOME!

CONDI RICE

Also totally awesome.

7 comments:

eeTeeD said...

the simpsons? awesome????????????? =(

Marky Mark said...

You're not fooling me, TEE DEE. I was wondering when you'd show up.

YES! You heard me. The Simpsons. AWESOME! Did you see the last two episodes? I'm talking about the one where there was a cemetary outside Lisa's room, and the one where the Simpsons went to Italy.

Now tell me if you saw those two...

SRBissette said...

Condi is a totally awesome LIAR!

However, her pants do not seem to be on fire.

eeTeeD said...

no, i didn't see them. i gave up on the simpson long ago. it saddens me how bad the show became. there's so many bad things about the show it would take a book to write about them all, but there's one thing i'd like to point out b/c i wonder if anyone else notices it. most stories are written with a beginning/middle/end. there are plots, and there are subplots woven through the story. the people who work on the simpsons at some point decided to abandon this concept. instead they would have two separate story ideas, and they would be presented like this....... an episode begins with marge decideding to become a substitute teacher. then comes the commercials. when we return, the story suddenly shifts to homer finding a talking dog. it seems that the people who make the simpsons decided to break each episode up into 2 separate parts so they could assign each half to a separate unit, and thus turn out each episode faster. i suppose that makes for good business, but it makes for crappy cartoons. why not just have two separate cartoons in each episode? i really hate that! if you don't know how to write a story, then you shouldn't be a writer.

Marky Mark said...

a. You didn't watch the last two episodes.

b. You and your RULES, man...

c. We still love you. But lighten up. Take a load off, baby. For your own sake. You'll feel better!

Mike Dobbs said...

Good reviews, Mark...in the spirit of always trying to get along – much less the season – I won't further comment on Condi. I'll just accept it as a mystery I don't understand.

eeTeeD said...

okay, since you asked me to lighten up..... i’ll tell you a little story about the simpsons and me.
long ago when i had that little gig with comico, the simpsons tv series just came out (the series...... not the shorts that were on tracy ulman). well, every comic book publisher wanted to publish a simpsons comic...... comico included. so i made up a short - maybe 5 page - simpsons comic for comico to use to help pitch the idea of comico publishing a simpsons comic. well, of course comico never got to pitch anything, cuz shortly after i made the comic for them they went bankrupt. oh well.
maybe one day i’ll dig up the comic and show it to you.