stupid blogger

Anonymous sent me this email:

I thought you were a monkey. Your blog says "Zodiac Year: Sheep" I'm avoiding "dogs" and looking for "rats and monkeys". My father was an "ox". The Chinese menu blurb I have sounds just like him. Able to enjoy his own company but yet makes an excellent and loving parent.

I AM a monkey, dammit! My whole sense of "self" is centered around that Zodiac Monkey! Apparently stupid blogger calculates your zodiac sign - INCORRECTLY - based on your birth year.

Thank you for alerting me to this, Anonymous. I will add it to my list of things to fume about.


BonzoGal said...

Chinese new years usually start in February or March. I thought I was a Dragon (1964) for years 'til I realized that the Dragon year didn't start 'til February that year, which means I'm a Rabbit.

Dude, I know this is harsh, but your whole world-view must change. Seek expensive counseling. Maybe go on an expensive retreat. Whatever way you choose to help you accept your Sheepiness, remember to spend a lot of money doing it or it won't stick.

Marky Mark said...

Oh God - I think I'm gonna be sick -

How come nobody but stupid blogger and bonzogal know about this??? Why don't Chinese restaurant placemat printers tell you these things?

Wayno said...

I subscribe to the "westernized" Chinese calendar, and therefore you are a fellow Monkey! I *KNOW* you, and you, sir, have the heart of a monkey.

By the way, I'm 99% done with my Year of the Pig postcard!

BonzoGal said...

Hmm, you could be a "cusp" monkey! Perhaps a monkey with a wool jacket? A sheep with a prehensile tail?

Anonymous said...

I'm a pig. 1971 is a pig year.

Emery Calame