a post, a rant, etc


From Benny:

First off, I still can't get the VC here at DT.
(He still can't get stupid blogger to take his comments - ed.)

I haven't checked DD, but will.

Second, here's a lighter from Beaver Liquors in Beaver Creek, Colorado. When they first started, they were just "Beaver Liquors". Plain, classy, full of double entendre. THEN, either somebody bought the place and hired a hack ad agency or did their own work, and added "and Lips, Too" in horrible Brush Script, no kerning, no nothing. But WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
They have a whole line of stuff with THIS ON IT! And PEOPLE BUY IT!

Where's the "understatement"?


Me:

I too am filled with outrage and contempt. Benny is right. ALL CAPS RIGHT! Subtlety, style and a basic understanding of humor may be too much to expect from this company, but could they at least "focus group" the thing on a 12-year-old and see if it MAKES SENSE before they foist it on the public?

Foist: to pass off as genuine or worthy - Merriam-Webster

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS THING? THROW IT BACK!

14 comments:

greg said...

The "& Lips, Too" part makes the double entendre cease to work, so it goes from a low-class pun to a sort of sad ignorance. But throw in an ugly, overused font and horrible clip art, and you've got one hell of a logo!

mickey said...

they might as well have added "get it? it's dirty!" at the end.

Benny said...

Hooray! My word verification is back!! (Actually, when I updated Firefox it returned).
And it was in ALL CAPS BRUSH SCRIPT!!

Like it was welcoming me back to the fold of craptastic design.
It's like I was never gone.

Sigh.

jed said...

"I'm gonna get me a six pack a Mickey's Big Mouths at Vagina."

Or,

"Could ya' pick me up a carton of Cools, at Vagina?"

Or,

"I'm gonna go down to Vagina. For some Jack."

Marky Mark said...

OK, I think I figured this much out:

It's like they're saying "For people who lick beavers, and lips too!" So the non-gay girls don't feel left out. As if to say "Hey, you don't have to lick beaver to shop here - you lip-lickers cum on in, too!"

It's STILL amazingly fuktup, but MAYBE that is the twisted logic behind it. Maybe they are trying to be inclusive.

Benny said...

NO No No!!
I figured it out.
"Beaver Lips"
Beaver Liquors and Beaver Lips, Too.

It's very anatomical.
Why not Major Beaver Lips?

Marky Mark said...

hmmmmm...

I dunno, Benny. That "graphic" of the lady licking her lips is a pretty strong argument for my side. I'm sticking with my interpretation. For now.

jed said...

For some reason the top part of my post did not go through, which was the suggestion that they call the store "Vagina" instead.

mickey said...

well that cinches it, i'm opening a store called "Bohner Liquors"

BonzoGal said...

With a card room in back, so you can say "Liquor in the front, and poker in the rear"?

jed said...

Clearly, bonzogal wins.

jed said...

Wait, my wife just came up with, "The Hooch and Cootch"

Voice 0'Reason said...

With a card room in back, so you can say "Liquor in the front, and poker in the rear"?

& Lips, Too!

Voice 0'Reason said...

It just keeps getting better...?

Apparently the proprietor of Beaver Liquors (who is offering franchise opportunities -- c'mon, Mark! you know you want to!) is named Rick Cuny. Add a letter, change a letter, the possibilities are endless! Well, not endless... pretty limited, really, but they fit right in with the stupid name.

& Lips, Too!