final UK post

This is it, the last of my interesting UK pics. I have 280 more nice pics but they're all typical tourist stuff, beautiful architecture and countryside, that sort of thing. Which is interesting, but not jabberous.

Here's a founding father of Chester UK. With a pigeon pooping on his head.


Nice pantaloons!

Here is the public toilet in the park where the statue stands. Check out those faux marble ceramic urinals and the brass plumbing. It's always a pleasant surprise to encounter a public toilet that is not a hellhole.


In closing, I must say I agree more with eeTeeD than hemlockman. I don't think the British are any more smart or cultured or sane than Americans.

As for the kids' books - not much more to report really. The thing that actually may be happening (eventually) is children's COMICS. Like my Nickelodeon work, not like a true children's book. Which is cool, just an unexpected result from this endeavor. I'll still persue the books, but more comics are on the front burner right now.

british food 2

The omnipresent FLAPJACK! They're everywhere, many many pre-packaged brands, along with lovingly hand-made ones in bakeries and restaurants. A flapjack is a small granola bar, but more moist and yummy than USA granola bars. The point of a flapjack is to TASTE GOOD, not to be au naturel and save the planet and promote healthy bowel regularity like USA granola bars.

WGC is addicted to them. Squirrels love them too!

I'll cut to the chase on the kids' books, since hemlockman asked. No, I did not sell anything. But I did get packages in to most of the publishers who swore they would not accept packages. And most were very polite and welcoming in person. Of course, that is just at the front desk. I was not surprised to find that editors could not just drop whatever they were doing and have tea with Mark Martin! But I did get material through the frontlines.

I actually DID meet with one very successful packager for a large major publisher, and unexpected things seem to be developing there. More about that later, but on the subject of infiltrating the publishers that have the "GO AWAY" mat in front of their door:

There is one publisher in particular that makes it very clear that they will absolutely not under any circumstances look at anything new - PERIOD! EXCLAMATION POINT! So I made it one of my goals to get a package in to them.

And I did! It was EASY! The lady at the front desk said "sure" and even gave me some good tips on making sure it went to the right people.

Then came the odd part. She said I had to take the package back outside, down the street and around the corner, down an alley and to the building's loading dock so it could be scanned for security reasons "like all packages have to be in London now!" I did all that, and the package got in - but nowhere else was I asked to do anything remotely like that.

Since I got home, I have received a letter saying that my package was received, but regrettably they only look at new material from agents now.

A - so they DO look at new material!

B - the Agent Mafia is apparently very strong in UK!

I gotta go, but quickly I'll add this on the subject of publisher-crashing. One of the small publishers that I thought I could really fit in well with, and that I thought would be one of the most approachable, turned out to be the least approachable, most unwelcoming of all! Their address was hard to find, so I called the phone number from the website. A lady said "we only do their marketing here."

I said "So where are the editorial offices?"

She said "( sigh... ) You can leave a package here and we'll forward it to them."

"That's OK, I can take it to them. What's the address?"

"It's a private address."

"But I can leave it with you?"

"You can ring the door buzzer and I'll send my associate down for it"

So I finally located the door and the buzzer, rang the buzzer, and her associate came down and curtly accepted my package.

Who knows? I may get a call from them begging me to let them publish my books soon!

british food

A genuine rarebit! This is the first one I ever actually saw in the flesh, and actually tasted. World's Greatest Cook ordered this thing. I went for the yummy vegetable soup! Rarebit is a slice of too-thick bread with stinky cheese grilled on top. With or without meat, WGC went for the so-called "bacon". It's really not that bad, but really not that good either. I cannot imagine anybody becoming a rarebit FIEND.

Back to the books: I chose a date and plowed ahead. If I just told myself I'd make a move when the mock-ups were ready, they'd never be ready. There's always something more pressing. It's psychotic, but I have to play these games with myself, like people who set their clocks ahead to trick themselves into being on time. My goal was to get 4 books mocked up, and I got 3 done, so that ain't bad. For me. I was actually fine-tuning and re-sketching some old books that were written and mocked up years ago. But I knew I could make them better.

Meanwhile I sent letters of enquiry and requests for an audience to about 16 or 18 publishers. As I was researching and collecting addresses, I learned that nearly all British publishers (and perhaps Americans too now) publicly refuse to accept any new material unless it is presented to them by a bona fide and known agent, if they will look at anything new at all. They are quite adamant about it on their websites and in their literature.

This is a completely ass-backwards way to go about things I know. But it works for me. If I had not committed to this venture (and actually bought plane tickets and hotel rooms!) I may have been discouraged by all of the unwelcoming vibes being thrust forth by the publishing industry.

True to their word, of the publishers that sent back replies, all but one replied "thanks but no thanks". This is to be expected, everybody knows that. Everybody knows you have to get a billion rejections before you actually sell a project. But it still sucks. It's still very discouraging to get those little messages. It's a lot easier now, as an old experienced fart, but it's still a struggle to stay psyched up and focused as those things trickle in. So let me just say this to any young turks who may be reading this: NEVER GIVE UP! Yeah, I know you just read that last week on some other artist's blog, but listen to ME! Keep pushing.

That's all for today. I gotta go to work now. But first, one more sample of British food. Nut cup! No comment needed!

WAIT! Before I go: What's all this firestorm about tearing up books? (see yesterday's comments). If it was a rare old collection of Rowland Emett cartoons I could see the problem, but a Hare Krsna Bible? Those things are everywhere. If anybody wants one, they can easily find one. Is the world really going to be poorer with one less Krsna Bible?

Interesting...

...

gourangi!

This is my new friend the "monk". When did Hare Krsna devotees start referring to themselves as monks? Anyway, he taught me to say "Gourangi" which means "Be happy!" Then he hit me up for a donation, so I gave him whatever I had in my pocket that was smaller than 50p. Then, LATER, I saw him again and this time The World's Greatest Cook was with me, so I told him I'd give him a pound if he'd pose with me. Then he gave me a nice hardcover Krsna book because we were such nice friends! I tore out the pretty paintings and threw the rest of the book in the trash. Hey, I really DO appreciate the paintings, but you know how it is when you are traveling - you have to jettison as much unnecessary weight as possible!

I am having a real hard time collecting my thoughts for any kind of coherent report on the book-selling thing. Especially since things are still happening, "in flux" as they say. And I'm still fighting deadlines etc.

I may just give up on the whole "coherent" angle and start posting rambling babble.

How about an outline?

WHO: me
WHAT: trotted out my kids' books to some publishers again
WHEN: first half of May
WHERE: London
WHY: (a) A few months ago it APPEARED that one of my wells was running dry. (b) I had frustrating chunks of free time, due to an ever-on-hold large project. (c) I WANT TO HAVE A LEGITIMATE CHILDREN'S BOOK PUBLISHED BEFORE I DIE!!! (d) I wanted to see what kind of success I'd have with this sort of thing outside the USA (e) I can claim it as a business expense on my taxes.

OK. Now that I have that groundwork freshly re-stated, I'll try to build on it. TOMORROW!

Here's another pic that sort of dovetails with the Gourangi guy (both on the subject of religion). I took this pic of the guestbook in the lobby of the Anglican Church in Chester.